reminders to enjoy your relationships
KEEP FRIENDSHIPS FROM FADING
Now that you're a mom, it's hard not to blab about the new baby who's suddenly become the center of your world. But let's face it, not everyone wants to hear every detail of your new life – especially your friends, relatives and colleagues who may not have kids of their own. How to avoid putting off the people you care about?
The Well Mom
asked relationship expert Dr. Jenn Berman
how to fortify friendships after baby.
Number one, Dr. Jenn warns, don't assume that everyone else in your life wants to have kids and that YOU know why friends or family haven't started a family yet.
Here's her advice on keeping up key relationships in your life:
Your Best Friend
Dr. Jenn says, "You should ask her if it is okay if you talk about your baby and whether it is a sensitive subject…Hopefully if she is your best friend, you have the kind of relationship where you can ask her if it bothers her."
(or any other female relative)
Dr. Jenn says, "Your sister isn’t much different from your best friend. You should be able to ask her whether talking about the baby bothers her. But most likely, a sister will be the one to tell you first that she’s sick of hearing about the baby."
Dr. Jenn says the workplace is definitely more delicate - so tread lightly. Sad but true, she says, "You want to protect yourself and your position. You don't want to talk so much about your kids that you get mommy tracked." And by talking non-stop about the new bundle of joy in your life, Dr. Jenn says you may be making assumptions that your co-worker has similar aspirations to start a family. But it is really none of your business.
Finally, Dr. Jenn, a mother of 11-month-old twins herself, advises moms to be sensitive even if you are struggling with sleep deprivation and raging hormones. She says you don't get a free pass just because you've become a mom. Rather, "If you want to stay connected, you have to make the effort
…If your single friend tells you about her wild night on the town and you are not so interested, remember she's probably not so interested in Diaper Genies." Bottom line: "Well moms" have to work at it. But the most meaningful relationships are worth it. Don't you think?
Dr. Jenn Berman is a licensed family and marriage therapist based in Los Angeles.
She is also the author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids