By Rebecca Rodskog, Rodskog Change Consulting
Let's face it. When we don't love ourselves, it shows.  Physically, it affects our weight, our stress levels, and our overall well-being.  Emotionally, it affects the way we’re able to give to others.  We may think that by putting ourselves last on the list we are better at helping others, but we all know that deep down it’s the opposite.  The less we love ourselves, the less we are able to give of ourselves.

Love is the second tenet of five that I discuss with my clients – last month we talked about Gratitude, and the others are Forgiveness, Communication, and Integrity.  

Many of my clients are women, and many of them are moms.  I am a mom.  I get it.  Sometimes we just forget about ourselves.  But I keep coming back to this – if it isn’t about love, than why am I doing it?

The thing is, we all know that we should take care of ourselves first in order to be a better mom (partner, wife, lover, friend, etc.).  But for whatever reason, we continue to put ME on the back burner.  Maybe it’s because that’s not how we were brought up.  Maybe it’s just bad time management.  Maybe you’re not internally motivated or wired to do things just for yourself.  But we all know on those days that we DO put ourselves first, it feels INCREDIBLE!  The workout?  The massage?  The manicure?  Reading a book in peace and quiet?  Giving yourself a big love hug refreshes you, centers you, and makes you a better person to be around.  

Besides, no one likes to be around people who don’t love themselves.  So if you want to be around amazing, self-confident people, you’d better become one yourself.  

So how, as a busy mom, can you inject yourself with a little self-love every once in a while?  Here are 10 tips for some quick self-love (no, not that kind, but if you want to put it on the list…go for it!):

Love:  10 quick ways to Love Thyself
1.    Take the first five minutes of the day to do something for yourself.  If you need to, set the alarm five minutes earlier so that you really have the time set aside.  How you spend it is up to you:  coffee, reading the headlines, twittering, reading, meditating, stretching, thinking about the day, whatever.  You have 23 hours and 55 minutes left in the day for the other people in your life.  Start it off right!  Make sure to let your family know this is your time.

2.    Make a list of Artist Dates (take from The Artists Way by Julia Cameron).  These are activities that you can take your inner child to – a date with yourself, if you will, for PURE ENJOYMENT.  These cannot be errands, and they cannot be done with anyone else.  Schedule one Artist Date from your list each week.  These can be watching a movie, going for a walk, taking in an exhibition, shopping for fun, again:  whatever.  

3.    Take stock of your physical self and set goals.  Make them small and reward yourself for every step along the way.  Do you need to drink more water?  Cut down on caffeine?  Workout more? Eat more greens? Cut down on sugar?  Again, small steps and big celebrations are a great way to exude self-love.

4.    Make a list of the things you would do if you had all the time/money in the world.  Then prioritize by asking yourself “which of these things gives me the most joy?”  Working your way down the list from most joyful to least joyful, come up with 1-2 things you could do to bring that into your life, even on a small scale.  For example, if one of your “most joy” items was “be a photographer”, figure out if you can take a weekend workshop, or spend a day taking pictures.  

5.    Write a list of everything that’s “right” about yourself.  If you feel comfortable, share it with a partner, spouse or best friend and have them add to the list.  Talk about a love fest!

6.    Get sleep.  Seriously.  Turn off the TV.  Go to bed 5 minutes earlier every day until you are getting 7-8 hours of sleep.  You deserve this and this can be the key to your sanity.  If you have a baby and are not able to sleep solidly through the night, figure out 1-2 nights a week where your partner can help you and/or schedule a babysitter for a nap during the day a couple of days a week.  

7.    Take a break.  Ever have one of those days where you hardly even get to go to the bathroom?  Give yourself permission to take a break.  I don’t care if you need to turn the TV on to The Wiggles and lock yourself in the bathroom.  Do it.  Take a break.  Breathe.  

8.    Get outside every day.  This is of course barring any kind of weather disaster.  You need to get out!  Take a quick walk around the block!  It’s amazing the perspective that fresh air will give you.

9.    Call people who love you.  Once a week, pick one person who makes you feel good.  Tell them all that’s going on and feel the love.  If you don’t have someone (which is totally okay!!!), spend an hour writing in a journal about all the things that you kicked butt at in the past week!

10.    Smile at yourself.  Okay, I know this one sounds a bit loony.  But when you’re rushing around in the bathroom in the morning, stop and smile in the mirror.  And really take it in.  Isn’t it nice to show yourself a little love?

Love you, love me, love for all!  

Next Month:  Forgiveness:  Why can’t I just let it GO?!

Got a question for Rebecca? We'd love to hear from you!
Email: heather@thewellmom.com

Rebecca Rodskog is a NYC based personal life coach, change management consultant, actress and mom.  She has worked with corporations and individuals for over 15 years helping them grow through change in the workplace and at home.  For more information, check out www.rodskog.com.