By Susan Callahan, Anne Nolen and Katrin Schumann
Authors of Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too
It’s back to school time and pretty much every mom out there is feeling overwhelmed! Even our everyday lives can be challenging when we’re inundated with stuff and constantly feel the need to be busy, to buy more and to keep our homes pristine.

In our focus groups with moms across America, almost every single woman we talked to said what she craves most is a sense of control. Funny thing is, though the mothers we talked with felt they’re doing more, earning more, and have lots more stuff—they’re enjoying it all less!

But it’s not like that for everyone. We also heard from women who’ve begun the journey of gaining more control over their busy lives by paring down on their acquisitions and activities. It frees them up in so many ways: they have more space to breathe and think, there’s less anxiety about buying, upgrading, organizing... and best of all, they have more mindshare—not to mention more actual time—to spend doing the activities they love with their families.
For children and adults alike, when you have the mental space, you can:
•    Enjoy solitude and peace
•    Find your own happiness
•    Get pleasure from reflective thinking and being creative
•    Enjoy spontaneity
•    Continue to forge ahead after experiencing disappointment or failure
•    Understand the value of moderation, hard work, delayed gratification and compassion
   
Let’s say, like most moms, you’d prefer your home to be reasonably well organized. There are countless little tricks we heard about that women use on a daily basis to give themselves a sense of calm in the chaos of motherhood. They:
•    Lay out their clothes, and the kids’ clothes, the night before
•    Put the kids to bed in the clean clothes they can wear the next day (yes, it works like a dream!)
•    Make the kids’ lunch and have them pack their school bags before heading for bed
•    Leave the kitchen clean so when they wake up in the morning, they’re happy to be get up and make breakfast
•    Set the coffee machine on automatic so they wake up to the aroma of fresh-brewed java
•    Teach the children to make their own breakfast, and to put away the dishes
•    Check their daily calendar before going to bed, so they know what’s in store for them the following day
•    Keep the kids school work or “treasures” in individual plastic buckets that they sort through at the end of each school year
•    Take the mail out of its envelopes and throw away all junk and advertising as soon as it arrives
•    Have one designated area in the kitchen for papers, another for invitations, and another for notices to act upon
•    Delete or file e-mails once a day
•    Act upon every phone message as soon as they listen to it

While not all of these tricks will work for you, we tried a bunch and they really helped take the pressure off. As busy modern moms, once we’ve made peace with the way we manage our households—both our possessions and the family calendar—we can move on to the really important things in life: enjoying our surroundings, being fully present with the people we love, doing good, interesting things with our time, and having some fun in between.

Adapted from: Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too : It’s Good to Be a Little Selfish—It Actually Makes You a Better Mother. For more information visit www.momstimeouts.com